I just so hate my self for hating you. But theres no much more feelings left for you. You a bitch, you a whore a fucking bastard and son of a gun. Still theres something left there for you. Cause no body but nobody can’t make it out alone. You so easily killing me. I can’t never forget you. Even if its the only thing i want to do. I don’t know who i am proving this to my self or you. That I can change I can survive on my own. Without you. Without them. Without us. Without my own self. Im somewhere lost. Somewhere in the space. In my head. In this harmony and chaos you coast. Oh you so demonic I cant even imagine my self how much i missed you. You are just like… always there. Seems like still beside me when you miles away. Tell me how you do that? How you still keep fucking me mentally. With no words. With no touch no nothing. Just fuck it. HOW? How can I survive without you. How can I be I in this misery. Why can’t you cut it all out and throw it away like you thew away me. Why I still keep proving something to you. When I know that you don’t care. Are you even proud to see me here? Where I am. What are you feeling. Are you still there. You know I missed you. Although I am all alone and here. While you somewhere out there. Do you want me? Do you need me? Did you missed me…. Cause I don’t know if I still care… I just need some answers. Just some common sense. A peaceful mind to talk with. About all of this “merde” in my head. I want my peacefulness… my own little philosophy about how things is going to be… but then you come and fuck it all up again…
So I wake up in an ambulance with something in my head…
I got to get it off
The shit that keeps happening hurts my soul everyday
So I just got to get it off
Sleepless nights just makes more pain
I need to get it off
Dreams about something that is so far away
Just got to get it off
Tears running down my face
I’m getting them off
Cause I’m just like a little tea pot
You put me on the heat
I don’t whistle I scream…
So don’t be surprised when I just starts to blowing off…
Cause I just spazz….
Cause I want to…
She said “I want a man with a plan and ambition
Not an immature on a “pussy-hit mission”
I’m too good for that I have so much to offer…”
But the true was thats just what she thought
For him it was something else something more
So then she said ” Baby, baby, baby, can’t you see
Sometimes you just hypnotize me
And I just love your Jazzy ways…”
But for him it was just all fun and games
Her words like birds they just flied away
He didn’t seem to care enough bout that
So she turned the other cheek and said
“ Though I may love you
I hurts me deep inside
Now you no longer have to hide
Theres nothing left there to decide..”
THAT’s WHAT SHE SAID
I’m just a bad girl
Won’t make excuses for anything
I’m doing wrong
So call it my own fault
Bricks and stones
Might brake the bones
But words they shouldn’t hurt so bad
I’m just a bad girl
Watch out honey
If you can’t handle it
Just step back
I’m sorry that I misbehave
But the true is
I love you anyway
And take my bad words away
I take my dirty laundry
For my own self
And wash it with
My own hands
“THE KINDEST WORD IN ALL THE WORDS IS THE UNKIND WORD, UNSAID.”
…Roaming among the rebel of HATE… felt hand hair and masters face… didn’t stop me from meeting a muse…
You need to stop… just for a moment STOP… don’t listen to anyone… just the beat of yout heart that sometimes goes out of rhythm… don’t look back… stop being sorry… remember darling things that you where thought and that sometimes NO ONE CARES about that… or do they… well maybe at some point… and if you keep strangling your self or bothering your head with it… IT’S NOT GONNA HELP… remember what you used to be… and don’t forget… cause WHAT’S INSIDE WILL NEVER DIE… you know why caged bird sings and you know the secret of phenomenal women… so you know your worth… and you knew when that rainbow was enough… so all I want you to do… is release your self… release that woman… release that bird… cause it hurts me… and it hurts THEM… to see you so DOWN… take it as another challenge… and beat it like you where thought… I believe in you… just call it “My Own Little Private Exorcism “…. and deal with it like you should… don’t let them DEFEAT you… If you need to cry… CRY… If can’t beat them RUN… you are just a human… but on the other hand you ARE A HUMAN… so don’t think about it and turn the other cheek…
“u taught me 2 be strong
but im confused 2 c u so weak
u said never 2 give up”
To all the girls who have considered that the rainbow is enough…
Insomnia (from Latin ”in” meaning “not”, and “Somnus” meaning “sleep”) is most often defined by an individual’s report of sleeping difficulties.
Have you ever stayed up all night just because you had so much thoughts going on in your head and every time you try to close them the thoughts just opens up them again. I hope this happens not just for me. How some people are saying “I sleep when I’m dead”. Well maybe it’s true. Maybe we just sleep half of our life and waste it like that. Oh I wish I could just go to sleep right now and rest those tired eyes of mine. But I can’t. I don’t even know if you can call this insomnia. I used to have real one few years ago for a whole month. Thanks to science there is pills and doctors to help from that horror. Hmmm… a nice good ol’ sleep with a colorful dreams. Now that would be wonderful. Maybe maybe when my eyes couldn’t take no more and close by them self I finally get those. But just for know theres a big mess in my head and only I can solve it as usual… So wish me sweet dreams. Cause I’m about to have a nice head ache.
Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change. It’s like sadness is the first step then comes the second step angryness. Cause all that sadness all that pain all those cries you just get bored of it or sometimes just realize that they are not the answer and that it’s not helping you. You just simply not moving anywhere with it. So you get really angry. You can even say that you get angry on your self. Because you are just standing there and not doing anything. That makes you furious. But sometimes it’s not a bad thing. Sometimes this just brings us to a very good thing that is called changes. Hard to believe in it but people do change like it or not. In some ways we all change. So to say that people never change issn’t very smart thing to say. Even our age the fact that we don’t get any younger we just get older is a change. But not about that. I wonder how many of us one of these mornings had waked up and said to their selfs I’m changing this. Cause there are things that is bugging us out first we get sad or something of that nature but later we get angry. So maybe being angry is not that bad sometimes. It may lead us to changes and it may make it better to life. I’m angry with so many thing’s that is going on in my life for this passed years but I’m changing it. And I hope things just gets better. So are you angry? If yes…. Then maybe it’s time for changes… 
